100 Neediest Cases

Every year around the holidays in elementary school, each homeroom class would "adopt" a family for 100 Neediest Cases. We'd bring clothes and toys and food and LOTS of stuff for our family. I remember in 2nd grade we donated this red, white, and blue plaid suit that had been my dad's--my mom was so excited to get rid of that thing! I don't remember much about it, except for flashes of color and fabric and the memory that it was hideous.....ah, holiday generosity.

Yesterday, I sat down to look through the paper, and on the front page they had a little blurb about 100 Neediest Cases--it's still going on. My adult brain started pondering and doing some math, though. Surely, if every class in every grade in our one elementary school had one family, there must be more than 100 cases. What are the criteria to determine who is "neediest"? We don't really even use the term "needy" anymore, in favor of terms like "underprivileged." What must it be like for a family to be deemed among St. Louis's neediest? Are they proud? Ashamed? Encouraged?

As I've come face to face with my own neediness these past few months in big and small ways, I honestly would be a bit relieved if I got the label of "needy." I wouldn't have to ask for help but could readily accept donations. When I would receive help, I would instantly know my inability to repay favors and generous gestures. I usually don't feel the need to put on a front and be happy and cheery when I'm not, but I do fear that in the unlikely event that I ever need to burst into tears in public that I won't feel the freedom to do that. But if I were labeled as needy, like literally wearing a big sign on my clothes that said "NEEDY." "GRIEF ISSUES." "HELP HER," then I could somehow receive global permission to exist in whatever state.

Why this antagonism toward neediness in self and culture?? We don't want to be the needy girlfriend, the high-maintenance friend. We rotate the friends we ask for rides to the airport or "bother" for favors. But when it comes down to it, aren't we all needy? Like really needy? We have the option, the "privilege" perhaps, to hide it and mask it in any number of ways. Neediness only becomes more apparent in the absence of stuff and medical insurance. And even with my gaping wounds of needs, would I really even qualify for the 1000 Neediest Cases in St. Louis, much less 100 Neediest? Not to minimize my own neediness--believe me, I know it well--but rather to emphasize how incredibly needy we all are. So this holiday season, I am grateful for the needs that are met and grateful for the opportunity to recognize my needs.